Riding the roller coaster

When I have nothing positive to write, I normally do not write. This has been how I have felt since I got the phone call Saturday afternoon which notified me that my job was immediately on hold.

Of course, I wrote a few entries ago that I felt that trouble loomed on the horizon but I never thought it could happen so quickly. I've been here nearly eight years and I am in a position I enjoy (even though it is stressful beyond belief at times) and I am fortunate enough to work with good people. To have all of that ripped away in a matter of hours was quite a shock. I'd say it easily made the top 5 list of "crappy life experiences".

Tomorrow, we return to work. I don't think any of us will be the same moving forward. It sounds like things will be OK and we won't be repeating this again in the coming weeks.

No matter what, I know I can't find myself again ending up in the terrible position that I have been in for the last four days of little sleep, lots of compulsive nervous cleaning and much worrying.

However, I'll have no choice but to continue looking for something different. Maybe this reprieve will buy me the time I need. At this point, I just see no way to move forward here without always being worried - always wondering what the next phone call or email will bring.