He's watching you - each and every Christmas

Yes, kids, the Elf on the Shelf sees your every move and reports back to Santa in real time. One false move and poof - coal under the tree!!!

And you thought I was joking for the last three years about how creepy this is. I love filling my kids with fear and paranoia for the holidays.

I'm writing the sequel which I am sure will be a hit: "The Christmas Tree in the Living Room That Beats Up Bad Kids While They Sleep".