I am not looking for advice

I understand that people like to be helpful. I think it is within our nature. I know that there have been times in my marriage and friendships when I have started giving unsolicited advise when the most helpful thing I could have done is just sit and listen.
I'm not sure why I think I would be called upon to give advice in the first place. I understand that I do not possess all of the answers for you or for me. In fact, I may possess painfully few answers. I have found that most of life is reactionary no matter how much we try to prepare for the what ifs, large and small.

I write this today because unsolicited advice has brought my creative output here at the blog and over at the podcast to a halt. I stopped writing here and my podcast has focused on what I would call "detached" topics for the better part of the last month.

What an odd thing to do, I know, to come here and publicly state that I don't need advice when I am publicly sharing snippets of my personal life, some lighthearted and some quite raw and uncomfortably honest. Why am I sharing this stuff, then? Or, a better question is why was I before I stopped?

For me, it is the just the process of sharing or working through certain things here or on the podcast that provide me the relief I seek and fill the needs I have of a creative outlet.

Do I know it is rare and probably considered weird that I picked up the recorder and spoke at length just hours after my mother passed two years ago this week and then shared that file on the internet? I know it's rare and I'll leave it up to you to decide if it was weird or not. I don't think it's weird or I wouldn't do it.

Pressing upload at the podcast or publish here at the blog is my payoff.

I don't record or write because I am seeking advice or opinions or even observations about my life.

Some comments I have received, publicly or privately, over the last few months have not just made me feel awkward about pressing upload or publish but they caused me to not even open the laptop and start typing out an entry and to not pick up the recorder at all.

It's painful to give up what you enjoy in order to not feel scrutinized or analyzed.

So, with this post, I am coming back and I will share in the way that I enjoy as a person and the way I need as a creator.

If something I write or say helps someone get through a bad, weird or difficult patch in life just by knowing someone else is out there going through that same bad, weird or difficult patch in life, that is wonderful. You can choose to comment with something positive or thankful or not comment at all. The act of sharing it was already the payoff for me.

If something I write or say makes someone laugh and forget about the real struggles of life even for a few seconds, even better. You can choose to comment with something positive or thankful or not comment at all. The act of sharing it was already the payoff for me.

I can't help what you might consider of me and I understand that I put myself out there for that consideration by sharing here and on the podcast.

What I don't need is fixing because I don't consider myself broken.