Up all night

It's finally Sunday evening and I'm still in the weird floating space of my sleep pattern being thrown completely off.

It started Friday night with a late band trip (asleep at about 12AM) and then Saturday morning with trying unsuccessfully to sleep in to prepare for the all-nighter at the school for a lock-in that happened last night and Saturday afternoon with this feeling that I should be doing something different as the all-nighter was looming but I didn't know what to do so I proceeded as normal with this feeling of dread that I might poop out at a certain point.


And then it's 2AM Sunday morning and I'm walking around the halls of the high school and wow, that's surreal and weird and I felt out of sync and many of the students seem to be exhausted but I feel ok and then I'm standing outside watching the sun come up and there are moments of that when the whole thing seems unreal and then I'm on the way home and feeling fine until the wall hits at about 11AM, hour 26 of being awake but I have to eat lunch and do the things before giving in to sleep by 2PM and then waking up just an hour or so ago desperately needing food food food.

So, here I sit typing and I'm still tired and feel the need to go back to sleep. My eyes are heavy and burning and what time is it really (The clock shows 9:22PM but it doesn't feel like 9:22PM. It feels like some weird suspension of time. It's hard to describe.)

I think it was about 4:15am this morning when I started thinking about the nurses and others in the medical profession work crazy long shifts because I was really feeling it but the momentum was keeping me going while it seemed like everyone around me was dragging but maybe I had just fooled myself into thinking I didn't look like I was dragging also.

Wow, just totally lost my train of thought and realized I have been sitting here with my fingers on the keys typing nothing for a couple of minutes. I feel like I'm in a block of Jell-o.